I don’t want to go back…

Up until this point, I’ve glorified the start of school. It’s a fresh beginning: new classes, new teachers, new supplies, and a new routine.

don't want to go back

This year, things were a bit different…

My summer was pretty packed. I spent most of my time over the summer working on college preparation and my business. It was so nice to set my own schedule, packed with going to the University of Arizona for study, scheduling business meetings, focusing on my work, and writing. I could dictate how my time was spent, and it was empowering.

^ snapshot of me enjoying allocating my own time

Now that school is starting back up, I’m continuing to do these things and incorporate them into my schedule, but now I have to also make time for eight hours of school and about three hours of homework per day. The fact of the matter is that I won’t be able to spend as much time on the things I want and love to do anymore, and that sucks. (see feels below)

sad boiIt makes me resent school. It makes me less excited about what I’m learning, because I know that each hour I spend in school could be spent on growing my business. This is the conundrum of passion. It’s amazing to know what I love to do, but it makes everything else seem bleak.

So, as this school year approached, I wasn’t excited. I wasn’t looking forward to my classes – in fact, I didn’t even memorize my schedule until the first day. I didn’t buy supplies until the day before.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to be dropping out. I acknowledge that these six classes I’m taking do have value. I’m going to do my best to get A’s in them, but I’m not shooting for 100%, I’m shooting for A’s. That’s the difference between freshman Alicia and senior Alicia: I know when good enough is good enough. I know that each moment I spend is valuable, and I don’t want to spend more time than I have to on school, because I have more in my life to focus on than that.

deep breath

You got this. Ben approved. 🙂

School is a priority. But it’s not my only priority. If you’re feeling the same way I do right now – not wanting to go back to the school grind – know that that’s okay. It just means that you’re passionate about other things, and that’s good. My best advice to you and myself is as follows: make a goal for yourself for how well you want to do, and achieve that goal. Schedule time for yourself and your passion – make it a priority. Don’t think that life just has to be school when school is in session. You can and will make time to do what’s important to you.

❤ Alicia

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