Right now, there is a lot going on in my life. I am continually attempting to find balance between being a full-time college student, running my business, taking on a work study, living in an amazing community, and a part-time internship in the city. Amidst all this, it can be easy for me to get caught up in the hustle and grind of the day-to-day.
But, the other day, I took some time to sit down and reflect on my successes. This is something that I do not do often, and certainly not often enough. As someone who is a type-A, high-achieving, perfectionist, it is extremely easy for me to raise my self-expectation bar higher and higher every time I meet it, failing to ever look down and see how far I have come.
I’m sitting in a Boston coffee shop drinking a London fog.
This is the title of the piece I wrote. I went into Boston and sat down at this cafe with my roommate. I pulled out my laptop with the intention of going through email, but the cloudy, windy landscape out the large window next to me had me staring. I was struck by the beauty of not just the physical situation I was in, but the mental relaxation I felt. I decided not to work, and to write instead.
It can be extremely hard to recognize our own success. Feeling successful somehow means that we are egotistical. Our inner critic refuses to let us think we are worthwhile. There seems to be this weird stigma against self-love, like there is a very fine line we are treading when trying to take care of ourselves where we have to be confident yet humble. But, let’s be honest, most of us need a fact check when it comes to our mental attitudes toward ourselves.
I want to challenge that right now – I want to challenge the notion that we cannot and should not bask in our own successes. This is less about external validation and more about internal validation.
The inner critic can run rampant in our heads. Let’s fight against it by reminding it how bad-ass we are.
That said, here is an excerpt from what I wrote on that windy Boston afternoon:
Sure, some days may be a little more stressful and I may not always recognize my own success on the small scale. But, I think I know, deep down, that I am doing well. I will always strive for more; I will always strive for better. But, I will not forget where I came from. And it’s only up from here.
There is a quote from one of my favorite songs, Talk to Me by Cavetown: “It doesn’t make you a narcissist to love yourself” and that’s been my mantra as of late.
Don’t be afraid to love yourself.Tweet